Who's to Blame?

I got a call from a friend yesterday in the midst of turmoil about a client who failed to read an important email.  The client then admonished the agent for not handling a situation as he had requested, and as often happens in this business, blamed the agent for what went wrong as a result.  I could feel the frustration of my friend, as she blew off steam, telling me what she would say to the client, if it hadn't been for her desire to maintain a professional business relationship with a long-term client. 

With the vastly improving real estate market, there is a tendency for clients and agents to experience increasing tension and uprising of fear, as low inventory and multiple offers in highly-desireable price ranges are once again the norm.  Coupled with the fast pace of our lives today, it's easy to see how fertile is the soil for emotional eruptions to occur!  Sometimes it seems our business is more about how to maintain relationships, than negotiate a transaction. 

Not that this is news to any of us, but every evolution in the real estate market brings with it a new set of ideas, desires and expectations freshly born out of the previous iteration.  The trick for us as agents is to learn how to be with our clients and their reactions, and still feel okay about ourselves.  The work is learning "not take it personally," to stand in our personal truth with conviction, while maintaining our professionalism with integrity and compassion.  And the place that we do all of this is only within ourselves.  We don't need to say or do anything to demonstrate this to the client; we have to know it for ourselves and that is all. 

As my friend and I talked, I could see how much she wanted to "blast him" for his failure to read her email - the entire experience would be non-existent.  It was difficult for her to see that sharing her enlightened point of view would reallly not change him or his way of thinking and acting.  She may have been 100% "right" in her observation, and yet, it would very likely not have mattered to him at all.

The truth is, we can never change another human being, no matter how clearly or brilliantly we articulate our observations to them; we can only change ourselves.  When we experience frustration or aggravation, we change how we think about, talk about, act and respond to our clients by learning first that their reactions are really not about us....it's about their own anxiety or fears.  Whatever is going on in their lives, in tandem with the emotional roller coaster of buyer and selling real estate, they are in their own experience of life and it's inherent struggles.  It is with this understanding that we are able to come from a place of compassion, rather than denial of wrong-doing or blame.

This is a universal principle called "Divine Order."   Everything is happening in perfect order for the greater evolution of humanity.  By learning compassion for our clients, we are participating in the ever-upward spiral of evolution.

Thank you for doing your part. 

In service to the greater good, I AM.

Lori

An Attitude of Gratitude - No Matter What

With heartfelt thanks and abundant gratitude, this blog is dedicated to Kat Breithaupt!

Everywhere I look, I see so much good.  Everything I do makes me feel happy and full of life.  Everyone I meet and work with makes my life richer and fuller. Business is GREAT because I have clients I love and they love me! I am excited about my day, and all the work I do leads me to greater success and a more prosperous life.  I am in the flow!  All is well.

Wouldn't it be great to wake up each day with these as your first thoughts?  Imagine waking up with the awareness that you can choose your thoughts. How happy will you be today?  How much fun can you have interacting with clients and colleagues?  How much joy will you find in the process of securing a new listing, getting a buyer into escrow, or skillfully engaging in negotiations, as you demonstrate expertise in your field?  Will you be "on your game" feeling the powerful life force moving through you, inspiring others along the way?  Yes, what an awesome way to start the day!

But polarity exists everywhere, so you could be one whose thoughts go in the opposite direction. 

It is natural - but only out of habit - to wake up to a new day and immediately turn attention to the challenges of yesterday. Whether your business is real estate, restaurants or retail - or anything in between - we have a tendency to pick up where we left off, often returning to the thoughts and emotions of yesterday's disappointments.  We relive moments already passed, and unknowingly, set our energetic "vibration" at a low frequency, and start the day from there.  It's true, when working through a difficult transaction or challenging client, the professional begins his or her day be being prepared.  But something very important is missed when we enter blindly into daily activity, before taking note of and being grateful for what has already been provided in our lives. Something magical happens when we wake up to the limitless possibilities of a "brand new baby day*" by first and foremost, giving thanks for what already IS.  Awareness is key.

Consider now, by looking around, wherever you are, noticing the effects of your life, what is represented there.  No doubt you see pictures or momentos, furishings, a coffee mug, technology devices or loved ones, food or clothing, all of which has come into your life by one means or another.  Whether you've worked hard or were gifted the material items that make for a comfortable life, or you have just "wound up" in your current situation with a family, or partner, or the peace of solo living, if you're reading this blog, you have been the recipient of great good.  You are here!  You have life!  The truth is, no matter what our particular circumstances, there is something we can call "good" in our lives.  But what if your business is really, REALLY struggling?  What if you seem to be losing ground in a down market, unsure of where the next paycheck is coming from? Or maybe you have excessive responsibilities/obligations, are affected by legal troubles or life-threatening illness, dramatic issues that seem insurmountable...what about that???   What about it?

Well, hold onto your hats because I'm here to let you know.....IT DOESN'T MATTER.  There is ALWAYS good to see, something to be thankful for, no matter what.  It is one of the most important lessons of life.  And the way life works is also the way business works, so the same holds true there.  We must find our way to an Attitude of Gratitude.

So, how do we get to this attitude when so many things appear to be going wrong?  We get to it by looking for and finding what is going right.  Starting with the little things we mostly take for granted, it's easy to say "thank you."  Food and water, shelter, electricity....you get the idea...it is all a part of our good, and there is so much of it - the list is infinite.  In fact, you could spend the rest of your life saying "thank you" and you would never be complete!

When we look to see the good, wherever it is, we are putting the Law of Attraction to work.  What we focus on expands, so by turning toward those things that we call "good," our mental atmosphere shifts, and we become like a magnet, drawing to us even more of the good we want in our lives. "Seek and you will find" is the way from sad to glad, less to more, hard to easy....war to peace.

Look for the good and give thanks for it, and it will multiply in your life.

Knowing the infinite abundance of Life for you, with deep gratitude...I AM
Lori

 

Who is Your Adversary? Maybe your mind!

Do people stress you out?  Are you frustrated in your business dealings or interactions with others? Do you see your clients, associates or bosses as adversaries, complicating transactions or projects so you find yourself running around like a madman or madwoman, scrambling to satisfy their needs or meet their demands?  Do you dread the next phone call or email?

If this sounds or feels familiar to you, then I have some good news.  It doesn't have to be this way!....unless, of couse, it's what you believe.  Then it absolutely does.  It just a matter of mind.  What you believe to be true about life and people IS what makes it so.

In the business of real estate, we are dealing with a variety of conditions and circumstances that stem from the needs of our clients.  In the beginning, we think we have a clear understanding of what is wanted and needed by them.  We begin the adventure of working together, investing our time, energy, talent and resources with the intended goal of closing a deal and being fairly compensated as a result of having met their buying or selling needs.   The caveat is that in the middle of this process, lies all of the potential for this relationship to become strained and contentious. We certainly don't "plan" for that, but what most of us don't realize is that we can choose, with thought and intention, to have it flow with effortless ease - or not.

When our business relationships become strained and the work of it seems arduous, it's easy to develop a belief that people are hard to deal with.  How often do we hear others or ourselves saying "it's always something!" and "it's never easy" or thinking things like 'people are greedy'?  There are hundreds of idioms we use on a daily basis, without realizing that with every word with speak, we are reinforcing in our minds, some thought or idea that is actually creating our experience.  We go along thinking about how difficult the business is, how challenging "they" are as we comisserate with colleagues, repeating "the story" over and over again, without realizing that we are, in fact, creating more of that experience.  Thus, the pattern continues, and it is not limited to our business life; it is a universal truth that is making an appearance in every part of our lives.  What we are doing with this way of thiking is anchoring into a belief that life is difficult, people are hard to work with and this is just how it is, so we might as well accept it. 

But it's not true.  Life is not meant to be painful.  The Dalai Lama's teaching that "life is difficult, suffering is optional" is profoundly simple, yet within the message lies a life-altering concept.  As human beings, we have free will, the power to choose, volition.  We are born into a self-conscious existence that allows endless opportunities to learn, see, change and grow.  If we are suffering in the experience of relationship - whether it be with co-workers, clients, spouses or siblings - it is a magnificent opportunity to choose something different!

So how to do it?  In mind.  Take a look at just one of those challenging places and see if you can develop a new thought about it.  Let go first, of your opinion and what you might have already decided about that person and imagine instead, being engaged in conversations that are effortless, easy and productive.  Open to the idea that all anyone is ever seeking is to be happy, safe, and to belong, no matter how it might appear, or what is being said.  In this way, we are moved into a place of greater understanding and more compassion. 

As you change your thinking, you change your life.  Thoughts become things, so think good thoughts and you create good things. 

Be well and happy friends and colleagues, one thought at a time!