What is the Source of Your Business?

How many times have you counted on your great relationship with a friend, family member or past client as an unquestionable bond of loyalty that translated into "client for life," only to find they've listed, bought or sold with another agent?  This has happened to a friend of mine, a 10-year veteran agent, so much recently that he is having serious doubts about his ability to survive in the business.  It brought to mind how much we count on people and things outside of ourselves for the good that we want in life.

I'm sure we've all had the experience of seeing business walk right out the door in a way that shocked us abruptly into feeling some panic and fear, or even anger.  It can be scary when you realize how little control you actually have over your clients and customers, the very "source" of the business income that supports your family and your life! Despite the practice of continual networking to get our next piece of new business, we count on those people who are a consistent presence in our lives to bring us the business when the time comes for them to buy or sell.  In fact, they tell us in earnest, "you're the guy!" or "you're our gal!"  We know them and they know us.  It's often unspoken, but in our minds, there is an agreement that we will represent them in a purchase or sale of real estate.   Money we can count on.  And sometimes, as in the case of my friend, that transaction is the next paycheck.

So what is happening here?  Why do people say one thing and do another, leading us into this experience of a life and career of uncertainty?  And what part do we play in it, since nothing can happen to us that we did not have a role in creating?

When viewed from a universal perspective, the truth is multi-dimensional.  The human aspect is simple enough to understand; we're taught to be nice, get along, make friends. Those patterns of behavior, the result of life-long learning, cause us to take on responsibility for others feelings, make people happy, tell them what they want to hear; or maybe it's what they believe in the moment.  As hungry real estate agents, we're all too happy to buy in, jump on board, and feel the juicy good that assurance will provide.  We feel safe and secure, knowing that we are their agent, and that piece of business is ours.  But then...something shifts...and we discover it was but a fleeting moment of confidence.  Disloyalty is revealed and we are devastated by the seeming betrayal.  That fact of the matter is that being human means having free will, and free will allows us to make a different choice, resulting in changed conditions, the unexpected.

So what do we do?  How do we cope with such ambiguity?  How do we look people in the eye and trust that we won't have to suffer the let down or disappointment as a result of their changing minds?  And will we ever rest confidently in what we think we know about our book of business? 

We can never know what anyone outside of ourselves is thinking, doing or planning.  No matter how solid a relationship, friendship or close-knit family bond, there will never be a guaranteed piece of business.  Even when a client signs on the dotted line, there are plenty of ways to wiggle out of a contract and walk away without obligation to the agent.  And the same holds true in every part of life; promises, contracts and agreements can be broken and cancelled.  So in reality, anytime we link our good to other people, things or situations, there exists an inherent possibility of disappointment, feeling wronged by another.

But there is something we can be sure of, something that is beyond our human nature, that we can trust implicitly, without a shadow of a doubt.  It is as certain as night follows day, spring follows winter, and autumn follows summer.  It is an ever forward movement of life that is endless in it's cycle, and ever-present in every part of our existence.  There is no person, place or thing through which this cycle does not take place.  It is the evolution of life, the universal truth that, once understood, can lead us to peace of mind, and greater comfort and ease.  

It is simply that the universe is abundant, and it's nature is always in support of more and more and more.  It is Life living itself through each and every one of us, through every plant, animal and sentient being; it is the function of our solar system and beyond.  It is in, around and through EVERYTHING.  Abundance. Infinite abundance. There is no end to the ways that life continues to give birth to new ideas, new opportunities, new friendships, new connections, new experiences.  Everywhere we look, one door opens as another one closes.  We have only to open our eyes and see.  Once seen and understood, we become aware of our choice to live in that ease and flow.  As a part of Life's endless evolutionary process, we can learn to know ourselves as part of something bigger than our business, and know that we are always supported by Life as our Source. Letting go of the need to hang onto a piece of business, a relationship, a situation that is not working, we are free to move onto the next open door, that yet-to-be-known opportunity that for all we know, could be even better, more lucrative, more connected, joyful or rewarding than anything we've ever known. 

Knowing endless opportunity for you in business and in life,
Lori Greer, RScP
 

To Tell the Truth.....or Not

Do you tell the truth?  Do you trust what others tell you, or do you think people lie?  This question is ever present for me because I work closely with an agent who thinks she has to "shape" the truth, in order to get or keep a real estate deal together.  Just yesterday, she was on the phone with a buyer saying "we'll lie a little to get the house" and as a way of explanation, she proceeded to talk about "lying" as a matter of course in real estate.  Ironically, I hear this same agent repeat the old adage "buyers are liars and sellers are too" when someone besides herself has engaged in the telling of untruths.  As one who wears her heart on her sleeve, my challenge, on the other hand, is to slow down and discern about what and when it is appropriate for me to speak up, since it is my nature to be unreservedly honest.

Real estate transactions are fraught with opportunities for buyers, sellers and agents to selectively disclose or reveal information that has the potential to kill a deal, or in the case of my associate, to be the winning bid in a multiple offer situation.  From the seller's perspective, and therefore the listing agent/broker, it is pretty simple and clear:  disclose everything.  Thankfully, we've learned that honesty is the best policy for keeping sellers and brokers out of court.  But what are we practicing in our day-to-day interactions with other agents and principals to the transaction?  Are we so afraid of the deal falling apart or not coming together that we will create a story (lie) or withhold information as a means of control?  If this is common practice among us, I think we have to ask ourselves "why?" and then decide if it's worth it. 

Obviously we are in a business whose success depends upon our ability to "keep it together" when the going gets tough, or else we won't get paid.  We know all too well the time, energy and resources we've expended on a buyer, looking for the right house, finally getting  them off the fence to put pen to paper; the time, energy and resources spent procuring a listing, going live on market after weeks of preparation, daily or weekly updates and conversations about what's happening....all before we are paid a dime.  It's no wonder our collective mindset is to do anything to NOT lose the deal! But is it really necessary to put our integrity on the line to save it?

The question we have to ask ourselves is "what's driving me?" and in the asking, allow yourself a moment to check in with the physical body.  If we look below the surface motivation of having bills to pay and families to provide for, we might notice there is a visceral response to the possibility of the deal falling apart.  Can you sometimes feel that sense of constriction at the very core of your being?  It's like a tightening in the area of the solar plexus, also known as the body's power center.  It is the body's ancient wisdom responding to the fear of loss, that the hunt may not result in a kill that will feed the village that can be a guidepost to understanding the question of why, and what is driving our decision to talk truth or not.  Left unnoticed, the fear of loss is a powerful driving force behind layers, upon layers, upon layers of stories that are created (in our minds), and lives are lived.  In the end we are left with unhappy situations, marriages, relationships, unfulfilling careers, stagnant lives.

The good news is that once we realize that we are living a life based on FEAR (aka False Evidence Appearing Real) we are free to choose another way.  Having opened our eyes to the idea that maybe we have been inauthentic, we get curious about where else we might be living from this untrue place.  Moving beyond "what's driving me?"  the question then becomes "what's the worst that can happen?"  And here is where a real shift in our thinking must come.  We have to realize that there is ALWAYS more good available to us, all of us, all the time.  Anytime one door closes, another opens.  A deal falls apart, another one comes our way.  You don't get to move into the house you fell in love with, another house, an even better house comes along. One buyer walks...another buyer knocks.  Just as trees grow, sprout leaves that die and fall off, more leaves are always available just below the surface, waiting to burst through.  You couldn't see it before....but it was always there! That is the way the universe works.  All of life works this way.  Our bodies reflect this too.  Life is forever and always giving forth more good, more abundance, more joy, more beauty, more of everything.  Everything works in this same way and all we have to do is recognize it, and know that we are safe, we are always supported, and there is nothing to fear. 

Supporting you in knowing the Truth,
Lori