Do you tell the truth? Do you trust what others tell you, or do you think people lie? This question is ever present for me because I work closely with an agent who thinks she has to "shape" the truth, in order to get or keep a real estate deal together. Just yesterday, she was on the phone with a buyer saying "we'll lie a little to get the house" and as a way of explanation, she proceeded to talk about "lying" as a matter of course in real estate. Ironically, I hear this same agent repeat the old adage "buyers are liars and sellers are too" when someone besides herself has engaged in the telling of untruths. As one who wears her heart on her sleeve, my challenge, on the other hand, is to slow down and discern about what and when it is appropriate for me to speak up, since it is my nature to be unreservedly honest.
Real estate transactions are fraught with opportunities for buyers, sellers and agents to selectively disclose or reveal information that has the potential to kill a deal, or in the case of my associate, to be the winning bid in a multiple offer situation. From the seller's perspective, and therefore the listing agent/broker, it is pretty simple and clear: disclose everything. Thankfully, we've learned that honesty is the best policy for keeping sellers and brokers out of court. But what are we practicing in our day-to-day interactions with other agents and principals to the transaction? Are we so afraid of the deal falling apart or not coming together that we will create a story (lie) or withhold information as a means of control? If this is common practice among us, I think we have to ask ourselves "why?" and then decide if it's worth it.
Obviously we are in a business whose success depends upon our ability to "keep it together" when the going gets tough, or else we won't get paid. We know all too well the time, energy and resources we've expended on a buyer, looking for the right house, finally getting them off the fence to put pen to paper; the time, energy and resources spent procuring a listing, going live on market after weeks of preparation, daily or weekly updates and conversations about what's happening....all before we are paid a dime. It's no wonder our collective mindset is to do anything to NOT lose the deal! But is it really necessary to put our integrity on the line to save it?
The question we have to ask ourselves is "what's driving me?" and in the asking, allow yourself a moment to check in with the physical body. If we look below the surface motivation of having bills to pay and families to provide for, we might notice there is a visceral response to the possibility of the deal falling apart. Can you sometimes feel that sense of constriction at the very core of your being? It's like a tightening in the area of the solar plexus, also known as the body's power center. It is the body's ancient wisdom responding to the fear of loss, that the hunt may not result in a kill that will feed the village that can be a guidepost to understanding the question of why, and what is driving our decision to talk truth or not. Left unnoticed, the fear of loss is a powerful driving force behind layers, upon layers, upon layers of stories that are created (in our minds), and lives are lived. In the end we are left with unhappy situations, marriages, relationships, unfulfilling careers, stagnant lives.
The good news is that once we realize that we are living a life based on FEAR (aka False Evidence Appearing Real) we are free to choose another way. Having opened our eyes to the idea that maybe we have been inauthentic, we get curious about where else we might be living from this untrue place. Moving beyond "what's driving me?" the question then becomes "what's the worst that can happen?" And here is where a real shift in our thinking must come. We have to realize that there is ALWAYS more good available to us, all of us, all the time. Anytime one door closes, another opens. A deal falls apart, another one comes our way. You don't get to move into the house you fell in love with, another house, an even better house comes along. One buyer walks...another buyer knocks. Just as trees grow, sprout leaves that die and fall off, more leaves are always available just below the surface, waiting to burst through. You couldn't see it before....but it was always there! That is the way the universe works. All of life works this way. Our bodies reflect this too. Life is forever and always giving forth more good, more abundance, more joy, more beauty, more of everything. Everything works in this same way and all we have to do is recognize it, and know that we are safe, we are always supported, and there is nothing to fear.
Supporting you in knowing the Truth,
Lori
Real estate transactions are fraught with opportunities for buyers, sellers and agents to selectively disclose or reveal information that has the potential to kill a deal, or in the case of my associate, to be the winning bid in a multiple offer situation. From the seller's perspective, and therefore the listing agent/broker, it is pretty simple and clear: disclose everything. Thankfully, we've learned that honesty is the best policy for keeping sellers and brokers out of court. But what are we practicing in our day-to-day interactions with other agents and principals to the transaction? Are we so afraid of the deal falling apart or not coming together that we will create a story (lie) or withhold information as a means of control? If this is common practice among us, I think we have to ask ourselves "why?" and then decide if it's worth it.
Obviously we are in a business whose success depends upon our ability to "keep it together" when the going gets tough, or else we won't get paid. We know all too well the time, energy and resources we've expended on a buyer, looking for the right house, finally getting them off the fence to put pen to paper; the time, energy and resources spent procuring a listing, going live on market after weeks of preparation, daily or weekly updates and conversations about what's happening....all before we are paid a dime. It's no wonder our collective mindset is to do anything to NOT lose the deal! But is it really necessary to put our integrity on the line to save it?
The question we have to ask ourselves is "what's driving me?" and in the asking, allow yourself a moment to check in with the physical body. If we look below the surface motivation of having bills to pay and families to provide for, we might notice there is a visceral response to the possibility of the deal falling apart. Can you sometimes feel that sense of constriction at the very core of your being? It's like a tightening in the area of the solar plexus, also known as the body's power center. It is the body's ancient wisdom responding to the fear of loss, that the hunt may not result in a kill that will feed the village that can be a guidepost to understanding the question of why, and what is driving our decision to talk truth or not. Left unnoticed, the fear of loss is a powerful driving force behind layers, upon layers, upon layers of stories that are created (in our minds), and lives are lived. In the end we are left with unhappy situations, marriages, relationships, unfulfilling careers, stagnant lives.
The good news is that once we realize that we are living a life based on FEAR (aka False Evidence Appearing Real) we are free to choose another way. Having opened our eyes to the idea that maybe we have been inauthentic, we get curious about where else we might be living from this untrue place. Moving beyond "what's driving me?" the question then becomes "what's the worst that can happen?" And here is where a real shift in our thinking must come. We have to realize that there is ALWAYS more good available to us, all of us, all the time. Anytime one door closes, another opens. A deal falls apart, another one comes our way. You don't get to move into the house you fell in love with, another house, an even better house comes along. One buyer walks...another buyer knocks. Just as trees grow, sprout leaves that die and fall off, more leaves are always available just below the surface, waiting to burst through. You couldn't see it before....but it was always there! That is the way the universe works. All of life works this way. Our bodies reflect this too. Life is forever and always giving forth more good, more abundance, more joy, more beauty, more of everything. Everything works in this same way and all we have to do is recognize it, and know that we are safe, we are always supported, and there is nothing to fear.
Supporting you in knowing the Truth,
Lori
Lori - this is a beautiful contribution to uplifting the field - one connection, one conversation at a time. Authentically, truthfully and in highest alignment. Thank you for sharing your perspective and your heart - what a blessing you are! Love, Janet
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